July 7th... Always Behind!

My hips hurt. My butt injections hurt. I have a tummy ache and all I feel like doing is complaining. My hips feel as if they are going to pop off like barbies legs do! Oh well, I'll try to stay positive. 

What is really funny about being a surrogate for the second time is... I don't really enjoy being pregnant. Sometimes, yes, pregnancy has its pros but right now... I don't have any. I don't have any cravings; more food evasions than anything. I don't want or like things. I was supposed to make salad the other day but I didn't want to eat salad or anything at all. I make sure to eat SOMETHING because I know it's not good to skip but I would rather skip meals and just drink tons of water. I'm thirsty as all hell, all day long, which leads my to the potty every 15 minutes! 

Something that has been bothering me lately is I don't like how negative I've been feeling towards the idea of surrogacy. What I mean is, I've been awkward towards people that ask because I don't know what they're thinking. I really just have to get over what others think and just say to truth. I am a surrogate because it is what I'm supposed to do. I went through difficulties that lead me on this path and how happy it makes someone else. Yet, I feel that people are looking at it as "she must be doing this for the money," "she should have waited... It's too soon to do this again," or even the phrase "what you're doing is amazing." I don't know why, positive or negative, I become awkward to comments. I have difficulty responding to comments.  I just don't feel like this is an extremely bad or good thing... It's just what I have to do. This may seem odd but these are the thoughts that plague my over-emotional brain right now. 

Along with, I wish I could stop my injections. I leave for San Diego on the 18th and would really like to travel needle-less! I also have to give blood while I'm on vacation and maybe even an ultrasound with some random doctors I've never met. That's one thing about surrogacy... Modesty is not an option. My main doctor is not even the doctor that did the egg transfer. I met a different doctor that same day, "hi, nice to meet you... Now, Spread um!" 

Mid-posting all my other thoughts from my iPhone notes... My stupid cat bumped my finger and my 2 previous posts were copied over! Thanks cat! Grrrr! More to come, undetected soon.